little sommer-sunshine

I. am. in. love.

These were snapped by my amazing friend Jessica (check out her site!)  Little Sommer is changing so much already.  In fact, these shots were taken just before she started to bald and broke out in a terrible case of newborn acne.  These conditions are probably God's way of battling a mother's vanity in her child.

And some priceless family photos...

"But may they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength."  

Judges 5:31

favorite

Annike often says "the pink one is my favorite, and the purple one is my favorite and the blue one is my favorite too!"  In other words, whatever she is referring to (toy cars, characters in a book, crayon colors... whatever), they are ALL her favorite.

The teacher in me wants to explain that the word "favorite" cannot be used that way.  Favorite means you choose ONE that you like best.  

But instead of explaining my definition to my 3-year-old, I think I am starting to understand the word through her eyes.  Why?

because they are BOTH my favorite.

Different... and both more lovable because of their differences.  

The big one is my favorite and the little one is my favorite.  They are redefining the meaning of the word.

names

Choosing a name for our child felt like a huge responsibility to me.  It is one thing to like a name for someone else's child, and an entirely different thing to bestow a permanent title upon my own child.

And when I think about it, a name really isn't something to be taken lightly.  Historically speaking, many cultures believed that names affected the personality or character of a person.  American Indians received their names after they had accomplished something great.  There are many accounts in the Bible where a name was changed to reflect a new identity.  My favorite example is when Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter, effectively changing his name from "pebble" to "rock".  At the time of the name change, Peter was not really a "rock" yet, but Jesus changed his name in anticipation of what Peter would become... a pillar of the faith.

In our culture, naming a child is typically more about how the sound rolls off of the tongue.  However, Christian and I both felt the meaning of a child's name was too important to overlook.  We also wanted to incorporate our Scandinavian roots.  In the end, we did not actually make our final naming decision until after either of our daughters were born.  And because you might be wondering, here are a few of the specific reasons we chose what we did for our two precious daughters...

Sommer Christiana Negard

• Sommer is the Scandinavian/German spelling of Summer, which means "Summer" of course!  Summer is defined as "the warmest season of the year."  Also, "a period of great happiness, success, or fulfillment."  A blessing we can intentionally bestow upon her.
• Christiana is derived from my husband's name, Christian, and means "follower of Christ".  We figure he may never have a son, so our daughter can carry on his name in feminine form.

Annike May Negard

• Annike means Grace, or favour.  Grace is the name of my prayerful, Christ-following, grandmother.  What a wonderful quality to be named for!  We chose the Danish spelling (as opposed to the more common Swedish spelling of Annika) because Christian's mother (Elke) has a family full of women with names that end in "-ke".
• May is my maiden name.  It is more personally relevant than meaningful.  But I suppose it is also the month of the year when the flowers are blooming, the sun begins to shine, and the hope of new life is evident everywhere.

Someone pointed out to me that names can only work so far to undo genetics... but hey!  It's worth a try!

two little lives

This whole mother-of-two thing has really got my head spinning.  It has been way harder than I ever imagined.

I know it will get easier, I know that what I am doing is no more difficult than what any other mother of two (or three, or five) is doing, and I absolutely know that God will give me the grace and patience to the kind of mom that He would like me to be... but in the meantime, it definitely feels like a stretch.

Needless to say, blog-time is not a priority.  Neither is me-time.  Come to think of it, momentarily, the only thing I have time for is taking care of two children.  The only reason I have time for that is because my husband is taking care of me.

Exhausting?  Yes.  But despite it all, I do recognize that this stage I am in right now is temporary.  And amidst the doubts and anxieties and guilt about all of the other things I should be doing (writing thank you notes, returning phone calls, cleaning the macaroni and cheese off the floor from last week), I see quite clearly that two little lives have been entrusted to me.  And that God will give me all of the strength I need to rise to the occasion and take good care of them.

Maybe that is what scares me the most?  These two little lives are a severely important responsibility, and I sure don't feel like I am capable of doing a good job.  I am sleep-deprived, emotional, impatient and anxious.  I cry a lot.  I feel like giving up once in a while.  And I wish I could take a lot more naps.  But ultimately, way down deep inside of me, I do know that God is not only giving me strength to make it through each day, but also teaching me to be a good mother.  Phase one of that lesson is dying-to-self.

So, while I happen to be here in blog-land, a few pictures of these two little lives...

One way I have learned to multi-task with a child who doesn't want to be put down.

Annike's baby doll needed to use the bouncy seat too.

Tired Momma, and happy girls.

One of Sommer's first smiles!  At 2 weeks old - she must be brilliant :)

One of Annike's many smiles.

happy birthday Sommer!

On the final day of summer, we finally welcomed our precious baby girl, Sommer Christiana Negard!

At 5:14am on September 22, after a rapid 1 hour and 15 minute labor, we heard our 8.0 pound, 20.5 inch long, bundle cry for the first time.  What a relief and surprise all at the same time!!  Relief, because Annike was born blue and it seemed like a really long time before we heard her.  Surprise, because we never expected an 8 pound baby after having our tiny 5lb 12oz Annike.  And we certainly never expected her to have all of this dark hair!

I am a sucker for labor stories.  If you talk to 100 different women about their labor experiences, you get 100 different stories.  And if a woman has 5 different children, she has 5 different stories.  They all make me cry.  No matter how they come, delivering a baby into the world is a true miracle.  If you are interested, and like labor stories too, then keep reading.  If not, then I will spare you the details.  Go ahead and stop right now!

After carrying this child around in my womb for way too long, we scheduled an induction for September 22nd, 12 days past my due date.  In my heart, however, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and experience delivery without all of the induction headache.

The night before my induction, I sent out an email to some friends and family members inviting them to pray for us.  I truly feel this was a key part of why the rest of the evening progressed as it did.  God showed up (doesn't He always??), and His fingerprints are clearly evident in all of the tiny details.

Around 4 am, I woke up with mild labor pains.  At 4:15, Christian and I decided we had better head to the hospital.  Because of the scheduled induction, my parents were staying the night at our house, so we did not have to worry about what to do with Annike in the middle of the night.  And, we were already packed.  Praise God for seeing to these details!!  We grabbed our bags and got in the car.

The drive to the hospital would normally take us 20-25 minutes, but somehow Christian made it in about 13.  It was probably because my contractions were already 3 minutes apart, and I had begun to vomit (we are talking about intense pain!)  Christian decided that a speeding ticket might be worth the gamble.  I was checked into Labor and Delivery at 4:45am when they told me I was dilated to 4cm, which I found hard to believe considering the rapid intensity of my contractions.  Twenty minutes later, during one of the 30second breaks I was getting, I suggested they check me again.  Sure enough, I was completely dilated and the baby was on her way.  My doctor was unfortunately not able to make it in time, but another doctor happened to be on the floor.  After, under 10 minutes of pushing, little Sommer made her entrance into the world at 5:14am.  I was scheduled to be induced 2 hours later, which of course, never happened.

Don't be fooled into thinking that my labor was easy because it was fast.  No way!!  I have never experienced so much pain in my life.  It is the most intense thing physically or emotionally I will ever do in my life.  But I am humbled and amazed to see God's protection in it all, despite my own doubts and fears through the process.  He gives women amazing strength to do this this task of bringing children into the world.  I don't know why He chose to make it so painful, but He always shows up, even when we don't have the faith in Him that He desires.

big and little

This is my 3-year-old.

Both big and little.  We tell her this all the time, and it really means something to her.  "I am big AND little," she will often tell us.  Big like someone who can sit in her own chair with her knees up, but little like someone who still wants to drink milk from a bottle (please don't judge us as parents... we have tried to break the bottle habit, but just haven't found it worth the effort.)

Big enough to dress like Aunt Jilly...

Little enough to find simple, innocent pleasure in a few inexpensive gifts, a toothbrush, and a new doll on her 3rd birthday...

Big enough to want to "help" decorate the birthday cake.  But little enough to not do the greatest job.  She insisted on lots of sprinkles in differing colors.  And she wanted to put all of the candles in a line instead of evenly distributing them like I kept trying to do.  That's okay, I promised she could help.  Part of my birthday gift to her was trying not to interfere with the decorating.

Big enough to have her own opinions, but little enough to need lots of direction from her parents.  Big enough to be somewhat independent, but little enough to need lots of hugs and kisses.

I felt sure that Annike's birthday would be overshadowed by the arrival of Baby Sister, and never imagined that it would be possible to carry this baby 9+ days late.  God knew better, as usual.  Instead of concrete birthday plans, we celebrated as opportunity arose... an extra trip to the fair, a visit from family, a morning at the park, then the beach.  After all this, our exhausted birthday girl crashed in the car midway through her actual birthday, and had the most fun playing by herself for the rest of the afternoon.

Saved

It was truly the best way to celebrate a life - no expectations, no planning, no agendas, no fancy details that leave behind a trail of stress.  Just the simplicity of making time to enjoy life as it comes, creating special memories with the people we love.
(Can someone read that last part back to me the next time I try to plan a party??)

Hopefully we will have another birthday to celebrate soon!

gifts

Someone told me it was amazing what you could get done when your baby arrives late.  It's true.

In fact, I am even beginning to see this time as a special gift.  Most of my pregnancy has been insanely busy - with weddings and weekend trips and construction projects and entertaining guests, all on top of the added exhaustion and enervation that is part of being pregnant.

But this final month of my pregnancy we cleared the calendar.  This was not done out of some sort of discipline where we recognized a need to slow down for the sake of our family.  It was done because Baby was about to arrive.  It was done because during my first pregnancy I was very sick in the final month.  Sick enough that the doctor wanted to induce me early, and Annike was born at 5 pounds, 12 ounces.

This time around, we slowed down out of necessity.  Of course, Baby has not come early, and this final month has felt very long.  But in the meantime, we have been given many gifts.

Like today... we spent the afternoon at the county fair, eating ice cream and petting the animals.  Annike's birthday is rapidly approaching and is now quite likely to be overlooked in the hospital madness that is sure to come, so we have seized the opportunity to celebrate early.  Lucky girl, she just might get to celebrate all week long!

And, while we have waited for our little precious bundle to arrive, we have not been idle.  It turns out that there is no such thing as nursery bedding in the colors pink, red, and yellow.  As a self-taught seamstress, I decided to attempt this "minor" sewing project... which quickly turned into a major one.  Each week that went by found me to adding a matching item to the crib bumper, like a bed ruffle, some curtains, a matching pillow, and next up is going to be a diaper holder.  My style of sewing never includes a pattern, so if you visit please do me the favor of arriving with an uncritical eye!

Our spring construction project was reconfiguring this bathroom, and I have finally had a little time to hang the towels and decorate.

These are just a few of the little gifts that have been given in the waiting period.  But the true gifts have been more recently realized...
I finally have the sincere recognition that we should cherish our final season as a family of three.  There was a God-given opportunity to encourage and pray with a dear friend this week.  Christian had the opportunity to speak wisdom into the life of a loved one, uplifting a depressed soul.  We faced Divine appointments with the full attention they warranted.  Encounters that would have been completely missed in the necessarily self-absorbed season of caring for a newborn.

Let's face it, patience is one of those things that none of us are very good at.  But it seems that God often, possibly always, has a plan for us in the waiting period.  I never would have planned this time of waiting into my own life, but I thank the Lord that He did.  And I thank Him for the Divine gifts that were discovered.