they grow up so fast

I know it sounds cliche, but I really can't believe my baby is already 6 months old!?!!

Six months marks the point half way through baby-hood. Sigh. Seriously, how did this happen?

Karsten has officially entered into my very favorite baby stage: the happy sitting stage. He is content sitting in one place as long as he is snacking on something like a ball of socks or a crinkly bag, and as long as he can see me. He smiles at anyone who gives him attention. He stares at me with eyes full of adoration. He is a simply delectable ball of chubbiness. What is not to love?

Up until a week ago, when I handed him a teething cracker as a form of entertainment and tried to shove some sweet potatoes in with a spoon, I have grown this chunky 17-pound baby up entirely through my body's own nourishment. No wonder I am always starving.

This third time around with a baby in the house I realize how much I have grown as a person over the past five and a half years, since I first entered the world of parenthood with little Annike. So tiny, and yet somehow she managed to occupy so much of my time. Every minute that had previously belonged to me was suddenly devoted to mundane and repetitive things like changing diapers and sheets and doing laundry and making ridiculous facial expressions for entertainment. I couldn't go anywhere without consulting my infant's schedule and every errand included a helpless child on my hip.

Life felt so slow when I first made that transition into staying home full time with my baby. How many times did some well-intentioned older person tell me to "treasure up each moment because it goes by so fast"? I wanted to punch them in the face. That season felt anything but fast to me. I was physically exhausted from jumping into a baby's rhythm of waking all night long. I was mentally exhausted from processing all that had changed in my life. Someone had ripped the rug out from underneath all I understood about myself, forcing me to redefine my entire identity.

I remember that season so clearly. Yet, here I sit now with three of these little buggers. Life must be so much harder now than it was then... but I am not struggling in nearly the same way. There are more piles of laundry to do and diapers to change and overall chaos in the house than ever before. Instead, life is going by quickly. So quickly. Too quickly. Those well-intentioned people were right.

This third time around I am treasuring up each moment I can catch. In a different way, I understand that this does not last forever, and may not even last through tomorrow. Sometimes that is a very good thing. Sometimes it is woefully sad.

I keep thinking about how sure I was to bottle train my first baby right away because the thought of never being able to leave her for an entire year of breastfeeding put the fear of bottle-training in me. This third baby has not even seen a bottle, because, well, I don't have time to mess with extra things like that. And, reality tells me there isn't anywhere I can leave him because even my husband doesn't want to watch three kids yet. Mostly, I haven't given him a bottle because I know this year already feels so short. Plus, if I get to go some somewhere with only one child, it is almost like being on vacation anyway. Boy have things changed.

The thing that has changed the most over these past years is not the number of children I have or the diminishing number of minutes I have to myself or the average number of decibels in my home. It is my attitude. This chubby cheeky child with his two chinny-chins is growing up too fast. I don't want a lack of perspective to make me miss it.

dedication

It is hard to picture this chubby baby brother as anything other than a pudgy blob of cuteness that breaks into a grin whenever I look at him. The extreme example of innocence.

But one day he will be an energetic little boy, and then he will be a man.

We stood in front of our church body this morning, as a family, and committed to raise our little son up to know and love Jesus, to the best of our ability. We dedicated this precious little soul to the Lord, annointing him with oil. (You can see the girls loved being on stage)

Annointing and dedication are ways of separating something, or setting something apart for a special purpose. We want to make it publically known that we have set this baby boy apart to be holy, so that God's special purpose for his life can be fulfilled. We know he will one day have the choice to exercise his freewill, but in the meantime we will do our best to lead him down the path of Truth.

As a parent raising two daughters I feel the great call to protect them and to instill the values of purity and gentleness. I have been surprised how different it is to think about raising up a boy to know and follow Christ. To raise a boy, we need to teach him to BE the protector... a man who is a leader that makes wise decisions for both himself and others... and a man who has humility. Leadership and humility do not naturally go hand in hand. Only with the influence and example of Jesus Christ does it become possible to be a humble leader.

I have known so many godly women throughout my life, in all walks of life and all ages. But I have known so few godly men. So few men that I would want my daughters to consider marrying. I would venture to say that it seems much harder to raise up a godly man than it is to raise up a godly woman.

Without question it is something we cannot do alone. We are so grateful to be surrounded by special friends and family who love our children as their own, and who love the Lord God with all their hearts. It takes a village.

Karsten's outfit did not have the history of the dress that Sommer and Annike wore, but this day will be remembered all the same. Visit this link for those pictures.

Dedication Prayer for Karsten

May his mind have Your wisdom

May his eyes see Your glory

May his ears hear Your voice,

May his mouth tell Your truth,

May his heart be Your home,

May his hands do Your work,

May his feet follow wherever You lead,

May his knees bow only before You, his loving Lord and God.

quotable

I've gotta write this stuff down, lest the innocence of childhood is lost forever in the recesses of my forgetfulness.

Recent quotes about Karsten

Annike: (said in reference to the picture below)
"Awww... He looks like a little bee larvae!"
You know? I might not have put it that way, but I think you're right.

Annike: (said with the excitement of a 5-year-old who has just had a lightbulb go off in her head)
"I know! I can marry HIM when I grow up!"
Phew. Glad we got that one figured out.
I am sure she will change her mind in approximately 18 months when he is destroying everything she has ever worked hard to perfect.

Sommer: (said with the tenacity of a 2-year-old)
"No, Baby Karsten! Mine!"
Okay... we have a little work to do on this sister.

Note that Sommer is in the baby's bouncy seat. She is actually adjusting much better than we expected, but doesn't exactly play the part of the adoring sister yet.

helpless

Well, the verdict is out. Karsten is definitely my most mellow and content newborn. Thank you, Lord. I needed this.

Strange, but I think because he is mellow it took me a little longer to bond with this third baby. Don't get me wrong, I am now fully in love and completely attached to this squishy adorable face. I just think it might be harder to bond with a baby who sleeps all the time. Not complaining, just saying.

All of those hours spent rocking and comforting my other crying newborns actually served the purpose of attaching us to each other quickly, in that supernatural way that God intended for a mother to feel attached to her children. And it has got me thinking that maybe God intended babies to be fussy for just that reason. Something about a tiny helpless baby being in need bonds us as we swoop in to rescue them.

Life is like that too. We live through seasons that are especially hard, and we might feel especially needy. On the other side of that life experience, however, we can see how the season changed us in a permanent way. There was a bonding that took place, a deep spirit learning, an experiencial wisdom that was gained. Those needy times are the only ways to get a certain supernatural change to take place within us. In our need, we are given the gift of helplessness, being reliant on God to swoop in and rescue us.

Perhaps God intend for hard seasons to work just like that in our lives.

I am just thanking God daily that He decided this baby would not be a full test of my helplessness. And if God chose to give me a baby who knows how to sleep and sit contently, I am not going to question His good gift. I am sure we have plenty of other challenges ahead!

mine

Every day this precious little boy's appearance changes. Every day a new feature of his stands out to me, making him look like someone different. How can they grow so fast at this age?

The thing is, that they grow just as fast when they are older, we just forget to notice it because their appearance isn't changing quite as rapidly.

Here are a few comparison shots of my three kids at the same age.

The sleepy newborn shot:

Annike

Sommer

Karsten

The profile shot:

Annike

Sommer

Karsten

The newborn with eyes open shot:

Annike

Sommer

Karsten

Best shot around 3 weeks of age:

Annike

Sommer

Karsten

When I am old and looking at these pictures, I will be able to tell Karsten apart because he will be the only one wearing blue. Annike will be the one without any meat on her bones. And Sommer will be the darker, chunky one (which we adore about her). What I know for sure is that I won't be returning Karsten to the hospital any time soon because I know without a doubt that he is one of mine.

k's labor story

When I come home from a girls' night out Christian often asks me if the girls talked about A) our weddings, or B) our labor stories. The answer is usually yes to at least one of the above.

While I am certain that not everyone loves a labor story as much as I do, I also know there are plenty of others that are curious. In my opinion every labor story is worth telling because it is the story of how a precious life was brought into this world. Below is my story of laboring little Karsten into the world. His story deserves to be told, because it how his life outside the womb begins. I am writing it down as much for myself as for others, so if you aren't into labor stories, then I give you complete permission to skip this post!

It is strange how history can color our experiences. After the births of my two other children, it was hard to picture things progressing differently. With both of these other labors I woke up in the middle of the night and immediately went into hard, active labor. Annike was born 2.5 hours later; Sommer was born 1 hour and 15 minutes later. Neither experience included any early labor signs. Both were about as intense and fast as I could physically handle.

This history led to a little bit of anxiety (for Christian especially!) about how fast my 3rd labor was going to be, and whether or not we would make it to the hospital on time considering we live in a somewhat remote location 20 minutes away from the hospital and I am often home alone with the kids. Who would take me to the hospital if he wasn't home? While worrying over this, we enlisted a lot of prayer and had many conversations about plan A, B, C, DEF and G. In the end, Christian's relief about the "convenient timing" of this 3rd labor was just one of many proofs that God's was with us.

On Saturday morning, one day after my due date, we had nothing planned for obvious reasons. All morning long I was experiencing more low back pain than normal and feeling mild abdominal cramps. You might think these would be obvious signs of early labor. Yes, but I was 40 weeks pregnant and similar aches and cramps had been part of my daily existence for the previous three weeks or more. I read books to the kids. I highlighted my hair. I took a long shower. I should have picked up the house but I guess I was feeling slightly tired and unmotivated.

Around 10am, Christian came inside from working in the garden. When I told him about my growing discomfort, he thought we should play it on the safe side and decided to take me to the hospital just to get checked out. We left the house in a state of calm, found a good friend to take the girls for the morning, and called my parents to make their 45 minute drive up. On our way out the door, I was pretty convinced the hospital was going to send me home. I was wrong.

A few minutes before we pulled up to the birthing center, I felt my first real contraction. Oh! I was glad we had left when we did. They checked me in to the hospital around 10:45, hooked me up to the monitors, and told me my contractions were 3 minutes apart. Soon thereafter I began really breathing through them, while Christian sat by my bedside practically giddy with relief that we had timed it the way we did. I can still hear him saying, "I am so glad we are at the hospital!" and "I am so glad this isn't in the middle of the night!"

Things progressed as they should have, I suppose. But it all seemed sooo much slower to me than my other labors. It has occured to me that labor, and pain in general, is such a mental game. Mentally we have to be prepared by setting our minds to endure. For whatever reason, my mental game was not on this time around and I never really "relaxed" (as if that can truly happen) into the rhythm of my contractions. I kept asking the nurses what was taking so long?!?

Eventually they broke my water when I was dilated about 7-8cm. In my impatience to be finished with all of the extreme pain I tried to prematurely push the baby out, which just resulted in a lot of extra pushing. Little baby did not want to come out and it felt like he was stuck for all 25 minutes of the final stage of labor. When he finally made his grand exit, the pediatric team took him right away because there was some meconium in my amniotic fluid (meconium is that black sticky stuff that makes up the first bowel movement of a newborn and can be a problem if the infant ingests it.) Fortunately, the meconium proved not to be an issue.

I heard the baby cry within moments. With my eyes closed and my head laid back on the table in exhaustion, Christian exclaimed in utter surprise and excitement, "Oh my goodness! It's a BOY!"

What? What?!? A BOY?? I was pretty convinced I was having a third girl, though who knows what old wives tales and stereotypes were dictating that notion. BOY. Who knew?

A baby boy big beautiful surprise, born at 12:51pm. A healthy 7pounds and 15ounces, pushed out about 2 hours after arriving at the hospital.

I couldn't believe how looong it felt like I had been in labor. The labor team just laughed at my complaints and assured me that was pretty fast. But after 3 natural labors and deliveries with no pain medicine, epidural, or anything to take the edge off, I just might be curious to try that epidural next time. If there was going to be a next time, which there isn't. Unless God has something to say about it.

The process of laboring a child into this world is truly a miracle. I am in awe of the way that God designed women with the ability to endure so much pain at one time. Serious explosion of pain. I had unrealistic expectations that my third labor experience would be easy, would involve a lot less pain than the others, and would find me healed up more quickly. Not sure why I had those expectations. They only messed up my mental ability to persevere and focus through it all.

In the end, holding this little miracle makes it all worthwhile. Yes, that is mascara running down my face, probably trapped by a tear or two during labor.

Today Karsten is 12 short little days old, and so far seems to have the sweetest nature of all our newborns. I guess that makes him worth a little extra pain in delivery.

baby karsten

Falling in love with my newest addition.

Who does he look like? Christian, Annike, Sommer, Me?? 

** These precious hospital photos were taken by my talented and amazingly artistic friend Jessica. Special thanks for blessing us with this priceless memory of our 3rd baby in the hospital.**

another birthday

Introducing Karsten Paul Negard! A BOY!! And another birthday to add to our end of September celebrations.

Born on Saturday, September 28, 2013 at 12:51pm

7 pounds, 15 ounces, 20 1/4 inches

The name Karsten is the Germanic or Dutch form of the name Christian, meaning "follower of Christ". It fits in nicely with our Scandinavian set of names, and we just plain like the name.

His middle name was given in honor of my father, Paul, who will surely be a favorite playmate of Karsten's just as he is of our daughters. Paul means "humble".

We pray little Karsten will always be a humble follower of Christ.

He is welcomed with great love and affection, and a little apprehension, by his two older sisters.

Little Karsten was born after around 2-2.5 hours of labor, which felt like a decade to me. I had this unrealistic expectation that birthing a third child would be much easier than the first two. Hmmmm. As soon as I can get my act together as a mother of three, I will share more details.

For now, suffice it to say that all of our prayers were answered in that mom and baby are both healthy and baby wasn't born in the car. He arrived only one day past my due date - HUGE GIGANTIC relief for me. I really didn't think I could carry two weeks late again this time around. And Christian was especially pleased that I decided to bring him into the world at a convenient time instead of the middle of the night.

I can't believe we have a little BOY in the house!!!! Our lives are about to change...