Monday, August 23, 2010

sunshine

This morning the sun was streaming into my bedroom window for the first time in months! We have had one of the foggiest, coldest summers in decades, and the appearance of sunshine did more than wake me up from a night of sleep - my attitude needed a wake up call too.

Lately I have struggled with a feeling of resentment for my season in life - bitterness that creeps up and clouds my ability to see. This past week, I wrestled with my role as a stay-at-home mom. I saw a two-year-old anchor attached to my ankle, instead of my littlest best friend. I am teary even typing that out. How do we allow our mind to stray so far from the truth?

I am sorry to say that I don't always recognize the good things in my life. A friend mentioned that she saw pictures of a trip we took to the lake where we waterskiied, slept under the stars, dined in good company, and sipped wine at sunset on the dock. She was excited for me, and her enthusiasm was a jolting reminder of reasons to enjoy my life. (Thank you, my friend!) My mind plays tricks on me, telling me about a lack of adventure, independence, and thrill. There is some sort of misconception that says adventures are out there waiting for me in a life that I will never have, a career path I will never go down, or a country I will never visit. The truth? Excitement in my day is here for the creating. Ambition is not wasted on a stay-at-home mom. Adventure lies within reach of our doorstep, providing I can don the right attitude.

Annike has a favorite song from the classic kid's album "Bullfrogs and Butterflies" (an album which comes highly recommended by me!) It shocks me to hear her, a child who does not speak in full sentences yet, singing:
Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sonshine
Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sun
!

Verse:
It's been a beautiful day
Blessed rain of God has fallen
Happy go lucky and come what may
Cause I've got a different kind of Sun
.

Something about that song speaks loudly to my pouty heart, saying that we choose to seize the day. Despite the rain, or the fog that lasted all summer long, I have Sonshine in my life.







He is like a well-watered plant in the sunshine, spreading its shoots over the garden; Job 8:16

Sunday, August 8, 2010

tu-tu much??

Daily, this is the outfit of choice. Is there such a thing as too much tu-tu? too much pink? or too many accessories? That would be like saying there is such a thing as too much girliness, and we all know that is not true!




Limitations are not something we understand well at the age of "almost two". Come to think of it, we don't understand them all that well at the age of "adult". Moving through the day with my daughter, I am reminded that she is incapable of comprehending the reasons behind most of the restrictions I put upon her. How do you explain that it is just too cold to wear a bathing suit to the grocery store? Or that it will make her sick to eat too many jelly beans on an empty stomach? Or that her favorite pink cowboy boots are too dirty to wear in the house? At some point, I realize it is not my job to explain it to her, but instead to make good choices for her, trusting that one future day, possibly years from now, she will understand and be thankful.

This is God's role in our lives too, you know. He makes good choices for us. He sets up limitations to protect us. Rarely do we get a clear explanation from Him that we understand unquestionably. That is where the word trust comes in. At times my choices are limited to one of two ways: I can choose whether or not to trust Him. It is the same as when my daughter gets the choice to keep throwing that tantrum when I want to put a jacket on over her tu-tu, or move on with her life.

God loves us unconditionally, and though it sometimes seems that He is removing a "good thing" from my life, trusting Him always makes way for something better.

I do let Annike win some of the battles we have. She gets to exercise her independence in small ways, making her own choices, even if they are not good ones. I have discovered one advantage for myself over the battle of the tu-tu: there has been a lot less laundry to do this summer!
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