Lately I have struggled with a feeling of resentment for my season in life - bitterness that creeps up and clouds my ability to see. This past week, I wrestled with my role as a stay-at-home mom. I saw a two-year-old anchor attached to my ankle, instead of my littlest best friend. I am teary even typing that out. How do we allow our mind to stray so far from the truth?
I am sorry to say that I don't always recognize the good things in my life. A friend mentioned that she saw pictures of a trip we took to the lake where we waterskiied, slept under the stars, dined in good company, and sipped wine at sunset on the dock. She was excited for me, and her enthusiasm was a jolting reminder of reasons to enjoy my life. (Thank you, my friend!) My mind plays tricks on me, telling me about a lack of adventure, independence, and thrill. There is some sort of misconception that says adventures are out there waiting for me in a life that I will never have, a career path I will never go down, or a country I will never visit. The truth? Excitement in my day is here for the creating. Ambition is not wasted on a stay-at-home mom. Adventure lies within reach of our doorstep, providing I can don the right attitude.
Annike has a favorite song from the classic kid's album "Bullfrogs and Butterflies" (an album which comes highly recommended by me!) It shocks me to hear her, a child who does not speak in full sentences yet, singing:
Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sonshine
Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sun!
It's been a beautiful day
Blessed rain of God has fallen
Happy go lucky and come what may
Cause I've got a different kind of Sun.
Something about that song speaks loudly to my pouty heart, saying that we choose to seize the day. Despite the rain, or the fog that lasted all summer long, I have Sonshine in my life.
He is like a well-watered plant in the sunshine, spreading its shoots over the garden; Job 8:16