birthday week: karsten

My baby is ONE!

He has begun the final process of exiting babyhood, entering into boyhood. While I am looking forward to increased sleep at nights and having both arms free to carry things other than my children, I am sad to see the chubby cozy baby stage passing by with such permanence. These days will soon be but a memory. And just like those old people keep telling me in the grocery store, they have gone by so fast. Sigh.

Alas, on to birthday wishes and the last of the September craziness...

Dearest Baby Karsten,

No one loves me like my babies do. Which may be one of the reasons I am so sad to see you grow. You have already stopped looking at me with hungry eyes, and find it more fun to chase your sisters than snuggle me on the couch.

Your personality is emerging, though yet to be developed. You are growing into an active little boy, and quite the "explorer". You won't rest until you investigate all things new in your surroundings. While this makes it difficult for me to have a conversation with anyone, or complete any task outside of shadowing you, I wouldn't have it any other way. All of this curiosity is part of using the brain and the intelligence God gave you - and I sure hope that brain keeps you from sticking your fingers in an outlet.

Along with learning to crawl, you began to teach us about materialism. You quickly established yourself as the reason that our laptop computer is acting strangely and the reason our DVD player is broken and the reason my Bible is missing some pages in the front. You are the reason my trash cans are currently being kept on top of the furniture and the reason our living room is a giant playpen surrounded by baby gates. Oddly, this is not the way I pictured motherhood, but it is turning out to be just fine, because none of these material things matter.

In typical male fashion, you love all things food. This is possibly one reason you have loved me so very much, as I have been the bearer of all meals this entire year. When in doubt, eating seems to solve all of your problems. We hope to make you more selective this coming year, keeping the acorns and cat poop out of your mouth while encouraging such delicacies as broccoli and brussel sprouts.

As the fifth member of our family, you have brought a balance to our dynamics. Now there is nothing that can be divided equally, so we have stopped trying. This offers a certain health to our family unit as we have quit being "fair" and embrace the sharing and servitude that God intended for us all along. Thank you for being one more piece in that puzzle.

We pray every day that you will grow into a man who follows after God with your whole heart. A man who is a humble leader, and wise decision maker. In a world that is experiencing a crisis of men who fail to behave as men, there is no greater gift I could ask for you.

With all my love on your first birthday,
Momma

Your cake might not have been as cute as the girls' this year, but it was the best tasting... which you would have known if you had eaten the cake instead of the candle.

All you wanted for your birthday was a ride on something noisy.

Nothing could have been better than a ride on Papa's tractor and a ride on an excavator!

birthday week: sommer

One of the things that makes turning three special is that Sommer can finally hold up all three fingers to show us how old she is. The problem is that she keeps telling us she is five, so we still have something to work on.

Dearest Sommy-som, Sommy-num, Sommer sunshine, Som-Som,

I really do want to put you in a bottle and freeze you in time. Your squishy squeezy babyish body can not hold all the personality in and it is always exploding all over the place, much to everyone's delight. You are charming and funny and kind and imaginative and silly and snuggly and creative and smart and very very talkative, when you are not low on blood sugar of course.

I love your voice right now. Your vocabulary is impressive despite the lack of Ss and Rs and Ls and you manage to say quite a bit without these extraneous letters. You pretend to read everything, and you surely have every word in your favorite books memorized. You are an excellent story teller and I am never quite sure if it is the story that has fascinated me or the listening to you and the inflection of your voice.

I love your spunk. I never worry that another child will bully you because you understand well the art of defending yourself. We will tame this over time to become more gentle and fully appropriate, but you clearly understand your personal boundaries. You say what you think, so we never have to wonder. This means we get to hear lots of spontaneous "I love you"s. This also means we never doubt when or why you are upset.

I love hearing you sing. You sing everything and everywhere. Some of your favorites are "Raindrops on Roses" and "Jesus Loves Me". You do a pretty good job with "Part of That World" from The Little Mermaid too. You have a song for all occasions. You sing while you play pretend and your animals often sing to each other. You even tell made up "story-songs". You carry a beautiful tune. But most importantly, there is a song in your heart. May it always remain.

At three years old you already have a clear sense of conscience, forgiveness, and God's ever-present love. You are even quick to remind me when I am hurting: "But, Momma, God loves you."  What could possibly comfort me more?

I love you deeply. May three years old be a wondrous, magical year full of good things and growth in all the right ways.

Love, Momma

birthday week: annike

That's right, it's birthday week. My three children are 5 years apart, and somehow all three birthdays are within 9 days of each other. People always want to know how that happened. Well, go ask your mother how it happened. All I know is that it makes for an exceptionally busy September. We bake and decorate a lot of cakes, sing a lot of "Happy Birthday"s, and celebrate a lot of little people. By the end of September, it seems like we have had way more than three birthdays.

Even though it is busy, I don't want to miss the opportunity to celebrate each child individually. Each child get his or her own cake. And each child get her or his own blog post. Without further ado, happy birthday to the sweet girl who made me a Momma only six years ago.

Dearest Annike,

You are a sweet, tender-hearted child with a wonderful sense of integrity. You know how to be both silly and serious, and you find great joy in the little things that life brings. I am sad that you are growing because you seem just perfect the way you are. There are so many things I love about you at this moment in time, I want to freeze them in my memory. The good news is that each year of life with you seem to be more fun than the last.

I love that your favorite color is blue instead of pink. That you would rather watch a nature show than a cartoon. That you accessorize with animal ears and tails and think that clothing made in cheetah print is the best. That you would rather play outside than inside and aren't afraid to get dirty. That you love animals, but aren't sad when they die. That you choose to eat an apple over pizza. I love that you want to hear stories about me and Papa when we were little, especially if there are animals in the story.

I love that you get excited about aquariums and museums and going to the library and visiting your grandparents. I love that you know the names of more fish than I do, and some of your favorite books are fish and bird reference books. I love your adorable drawings of animals. I also love that you are kind to me when I attempt to draw animals and you can't recognize them.

I love that you know how to share the joy of others and rarely feel in competition with friends. That you freely offer encouragement to your little sister when she tries something new or hard. That you worry about me being lonely, which seems like something that could never actually happen in the next decade of my life.

I love that I know you are always telling me the truth, because you don't feel right if you aren't telling the truth, unless you have your "stinker face" on and then I know you are trying to trick me. I love that Jesus is in your heart and you find His ways both mysterious and exciting.

Being six will be full of joy because you are full of life and adventure. I love you so much!

Love, Momma

happy birthday to me

Yep. Now it is my birthday. We like to pack it in around here! I think I am 34, but I will have to do the math to be absolutely sure.

This year all I want for my birthday is a luxurious nap... and a long bath. Strange how our perspectives of birthdays change as we mature. Even a few years ago I would have been disappointed if we did not at least go out to dinner on my birthday. Or I would secretly desire some unique gift.

I can honestly say that not a single material thing matters at the moment. My family is healthy and my heart is full of love for them. I was greeted with two little girly voices eagerly excited to wish me a "Happy Birthday" this morning. My husband is taking care of me. And I just received a surprise birthday visit including cake and coffee from some very dear friends who love my children as much as they love me.

My grandma's special gift to me on my birthday, and each of us individually, is a personal card that is really an exhortation over our lives. I especially appreciate her wisdom and written blessing for my life this year, and want to share it:

Dear Ashley, 

In all this flurry of new babies, I don’t want to overlook the mother of some of them!  In spite of the frenzy and clamor in every house with young children, these are some of the happiest years of your life!  You’ll forget the constant demands on your time and privacy, energy and interests, and remember all the joy of sticky fingers, delight in new discoveries, hugs around the neck (somehow, teenagers don’t indulge in expressing love or gratitude) and the absolute trust little ones show .  Relax and enjoy!  And don’t think you have to accomplish as much in the house as you have done prior to arrival #3.  You and Christian make ideal parents, and are mature enough to get your priorities straight. 

Above all, keep the place of Jesus prominent in your home, so that your children grow up to honor His Word always, sing songs of praise to Him, participate in all the church activities, and make Him a prominent Person in their lives. 

With much tender love,Grandma Grace

I had such low expectations for being the one who is celebrated this year, and yet I think it may be one of my best birthdays ever - because I have so much to celebrate!

another birthday

Introducing Karsten Paul Negard! A BOY!! And another birthday to add to our end of September celebrations.

Born on Saturday, September 28, 2013 at 12:51pm

7 pounds, 15 ounces, 20 1/4 inches

The name Karsten is the Germanic or Dutch form of the name Christian, meaning "follower of Christ". It fits in nicely with our Scandinavian set of names, and we just plain like the name.

His middle name was given in honor of my father, Paul, who will surely be a favorite playmate of Karsten's just as he is of our daughters. Paul means "humble".

We pray little Karsten will always be a humble follower of Christ.

He is welcomed with great love and affection, and a little apprehension, by his two older sisters.

Little Karsten was born after around 2-2.5 hours of labor, which felt like a decade to me. I had this unrealistic expectation that birthing a third child would be much easier than the first two. Hmmmm. As soon as I can get my act together as a mother of three, I will share more details.

For now, suffice it to say that all of our prayers were answered in that mom and baby are both healthy and baby wasn't born in the car. He arrived only one day past my due date - HUGE GIGANTIC relief for me. I really didn't think I could carry two weeks late again this time around. And Christian was especially pleased that I decided to bring him into the world at a convenient time instead of the middle of the night.

I can't believe we have a little BOY in the house!!!! Our lives are about to change...

birthdays in review

We made it through crazy birthday week, celebrating both girls over the weekend. I was worried that they weren't going to get any attention this year with me being so exhausted and pregnant and all that goes with it. I was wrong.

Instead of spending these next few days (or dreadful weeks) twiddling my thumbs, and eating, as we wait and wait for this baby to come, and hopefully don't have to wait any longer than that, here is a brief overview of all the birthday fun...

One of the advantages of having birthdays close together is receiving one giant, shared gift!

This gift has so far served as an incredible source of entertainment and energy outlet. Both much needed in this time of laying low. It may also be used to induce labor if I am still pregnant a few days from now.

Another advantage is the number of times the girls got to blow out candles on their cakes. Pictured below we have
     Sommer blowing out the candles on her own cake,
     Sommer blowing out the candles on Annike's cake, and
     Sommer blowing out candles on leftover cake just because she really wanted to.
I think she was confused about when her actual birthday was because for 4 days straight there was some sort of celebration happening.

Another birthday favorite was the family party. This year it included my parents and my sister and her hubby. The best part is that the birthday girls didn't miss having friends their own age at their party because they love playing with their relatives so much! This may not always be the case, which makes this season in their lives special.

Apparently I don't take pictures of adults any more because this is the best I could pull up of the family. Note those in the background...

Because we didn't think we were doing much to celebrate this year, we made a special birthday trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Definitely a highlight for both little gals. In fact, I can't think of anything else they would have rather done.

The aquarium trip included dinner out and the very first time Annike has ever been sung to in a restaurant (for that matter, it was probably the first time that she has ever heard "Happy Birthday" sung in a restaurant to anyone, let alone herself.) She was absolutely mortified. This precious little girl looked like she was about to cry as she stared at me across the table with an extremely tortured expression that pleaded, "Why are you letting them do this to me?!" Only after she started eating the ice cream did a shy smile appear.

The most unexpected birthday blessing this year came from another kindergarten mother at Annike's school. Her little girl has a birthday the day before Annike's. Within the first few weeks of school this lady sought me out to invite Annike to have a joint birthday party with her daughter... at her house... for the 6 little girls (plus siblings) in their class... with no extra planning or work from me.

I was truly touched by her hospitality and deep desire to share her own daughter's special day with us. As we had no plans this year because Momma is super-pregnant and couldn't swing a party, we agreed. I twisted her arm to let me help with a few items like party favors and some food, but for the most part we just showed up at the right time and had a BLAST at this little tea party.

The little girls all arrived after school for lunch and tea and were shuttled into a room full of dress-up clothes. I am now fully convinced that a little girl's childhood is not complete without a tea party. These girls were in and out of the dress-up room all afternoon trying on different outfits and being girly together. It was delightful to watch.

As I mentioned above, it was this other mother's generosity that touched me. She viewed this birthday celebration as an opportunity to teach her daughter that birthdays are not about Me, or about getting presents, or about being self-centered for a day. She wanted her daughter to view her birthday as an opportunity to include others, to reach out, and to celebrate lives, plural, instead of one life, singular..

The lesson was for me. I question whether I would have done the same for someone else given a reverse situation. And yet it was such a beautiful and simple invitation that she offered us, to be a part of a birthday celebration she was already planning. She showed me genuine unselfishness on a birthday - a day that I have always made a special allowance for a certain amount of selfishness. But why? Did I think that some of the Biblical instructions for laying ourselves aside did not apply to birthdays? Perhaps I did.

Still we wait for our next little one to arrive, and eagerly anticipate his or her birthday. While having overlapping birthdays was not always my ideal picture for celebrating my children, I can say that I am happy to know we will always be learning about participating in more of a collective birthday celebration than a wholely individual one.

two!

Our sweet Sommy is TWO today!

Sommy, you have a contagious joy for life that is transparent. Even strangers enjoy watching you and I have seen you bring a smile to many sullen faces. This is a gift that I believe you will cultivate in your life and use to bring glory to God. I love your sweet nature, your sharing heart, your nurturing side, the way you bonded to me at such a young age, your musical ear, your great concern for those you love when something has gone amiss, your chunky thighs and round face, your fake smile for pictures, your clear green eyes that understand so much more than we know, your unabandoned excitement at the simple things in life, your laughter, your uninhibited emotions (if you are feeling it, then we know it), and I love the way you want to mimic all of the "big" people in your life like your sister. I especially love that every night before bed you like to hear a list of all the people in your life who love you, including that "Jesus loves you". Please never forget how vastly you are loved, and by so many people.

Two is such a fun age! And a hard age. But I love you with all my heart in a way that can only be supernatural. God must have designed it this way on purpose. I will borrow from an old nursery rhyme to describe you, my spunky daughter. The saying goes:

"When she was good, she was very, very good. 

And when she was bad, she was horrid."  

Despite the major stinker moments, you are SO FUN most of the other times! And I really do think if you learn to eat more food more of your cranky moments will be replaced by joyful ones.

Happy Birthday Sommer Christiana! May this next year be a life-giving, character-growing year.

five!

Happy Birthday to my sweet 5-year-old!

I can't believe it has been 5 years since I held your precious little 5 pound 12 ounce body in my arms and wondered what kind of person you become, and if your skin would ever not hang off of your knees like that.

Five years later your are just the right size, and I have fallen in love with your detailed imagination, your love of anything related to animals, the way you use sweet words with your little sister, your silly faces, your lack of vanity and love of comfort, your excitement about learning, your enjoyment of time spent outdoors, your excellent vocabulary, your stellar dance moves, your tow-headed grey-blue eyes that are quick to absorb the world around you, your sweet singing voice, your wild "project" ideas, your gentle spirit, and your simple yet brave faith in Jesus.

I love you Miss Annike May!

birthday week

Birthday week is over. I am currently sprawled out on the couch nursing a birthday week hangover... maybe finishing the birthday cake for breakfast wasn't a good idea.

Both my girls celebrated their birthday within 3 days of each other, turning 4 and 1, and I am rethinking the strategy that went into planning it that way. Wait, it wasn't planned that way. As I recall, last year Sommer chose to stick around in my womb for a full TWO weeks past her due date. And, no, I have not fully forgiven her yet.

Today the balloons are settling around us, the presents are gradually migrating into the bedrooms, and then migrating right back to the living room, and I am reflecting on a few birthday discoveries made while we celebrated these two wonderfully special little girls.

Discovery #1:  The first magical birthday is turning four-years-old. This was the first year Annike got excited in anticipation of her birthday. Easily more than half of the fun was looking forward to it. We celebrated with a few special friends and an Under-the-Sea themed backyard party. The kids hunted for treasure around the farm and discovered treasure boxes filled with all kinds of silly things that kids think are fun, (and with a baby around, I think of as choking hazards.) Annike had a ball.

Discovery #2:  Children are pleased with the simple things. Strange that I have this rediscovery every year. Annike's party was a few days before her actual birthday. By the time her special day rolled around, I was feeling pretty tired. She asked me for a special dinosaur cake and I was tempted to let the request slide because, seriously, dinosaurs are not my specialty. In the end I decided that if a dinosaur cake would make her feel special, it was a relatively cheap and simple gift I could give her that took minimal effort and a little creativity on my part. Those are the kind of gifts we want to encourage. So, a dinosaur cake is what she got. We topped it off with a visit to the grandparents house and this day was every bit as special as the day of her party.

Discovery #3:  Cake decorating has been forever changed by the invention of pre-packaged Fondant. I admit that it is somewhat bland in taste, but it may have revolutionized the look of my cakes. I spent quite a bit of time baking and decorating cakes this week. The ladybug cake was for Sommer's birthday, and the mermaid cake was for Annike's Under-the-Sea party.

*Please note that after frosting dozens of cupcakes, I decided that I did not have time to make the mermaid cake I had been planning. As I was ditching the idea, my husband decided of his own accord to tackle decorating the mermaid cake. The decorating job you see below was done entirely by him. I was fighting off over-controlling urges to "adjust" some of his ideas, but in the end I let it all go realizing that not many little girls have a dad who will decorate a mermaid cake for them, and that was worth something in itself.

Food for thought: Is it more important for a birthday cake to look good or taste good? My husband and I may disagree on the answer.

Discovery #4:  A one-year-old's needs are in her number of years.  One friend, one sister, one piece of cake, one balloon, one candle... these are all she needed to be happy on her birthday.

Discovery #5:  It is not easier to throw two separate "small" birthday parties for the girls. Maybe this Momma isn't good at small. Maybe when I get an idea in my head that seems totally do-able, I just can't let it go. Maybe half the fun for me is planning the party. But next year we are going to do the combined thing and celebrate once.

Discovery #6:  Birthday traditions worth keeping are the meaningful ones. Our newest birthday tradition is a unique story told on Birthday's Eve (you know, the night before the birthday). It is a retelling of all the birthdays celebrated by the child, starting with the day of their birth, and counting right on up. Annike was captivated as she snuggled in bed next to me so excited to know what her 4th birthday would hold. Sommer's story was a bit over her head, but we started the tradition anyway.


Final and Most Important Discovery:  Loving these girls equally does not mean I will love them the same. I will have to elaborate on this thought more at another time because as I mentioned above, my brain power is toast right now. Let me sum it up by saying in my mind it seemed reasonable that if I threw a party for Annike's 1st birthday, then I should also have a party for Sommer's 1st birthday. After all, I don't want to be the mom who forgets about my younger children. But loving them equally is not equivalent to giving them the same things. These two girls are different in so many ways... one is rather serious and the other is not serious at all... one loves animals and one loves people... one likes to be alone and the other likes to never be alone... one is very cautious and the other throws herself at life... one is getting older and the other is still very young. Loving them equivalently is understanding their differences and loving them uniquely because of those differences. Loving them equivalently is giving to them as they have need, not as I have obligation. I love these two girls more than life itself. Party or not, no child of mine will doubt that.

Happy Birthday Girls!
(I hope you enjoyed your parties because next year you may not get one!)

happy birthday Sommer!

On the final day of summer, we finally welcomed our precious baby girl, Sommer Christiana Negard!

At 5:14am on September 22, after a rapid 1 hour and 15 minute labor, we heard our 8.0 pound, 20.5 inch long, bundle cry for the first time.  What a relief and surprise all at the same time!!  Relief, because Annike was born blue and it seemed like a really long time before we heard her.  Surprise, because we never expected an 8 pound baby after having our tiny 5lb 12oz Annike.  And we certainly never expected her to have all of this dark hair!

I am a sucker for labor stories.  If you talk to 100 different women about their labor experiences, you get 100 different stories.  And if a woman has 5 different children, she has 5 different stories.  They all make me cry.  No matter how they come, delivering a baby into the world is a true miracle.  If you are interested, and like labor stories too, then keep reading.  If not, then I will spare you the details.  Go ahead and stop right now!

After carrying this child around in my womb for way too long, we scheduled an induction for September 22nd, 12 days past my due date.  In my heart, however, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and experience delivery without all of the induction headache.

The night before my induction, I sent out an email to some friends and family members inviting them to pray for us.  I truly feel this was a key part of why the rest of the evening progressed as it did.  God showed up (doesn't He always??), and His fingerprints are clearly evident in all of the tiny details.

Around 4 am, I woke up with mild labor pains.  At 4:15, Christian and I decided we had better head to the hospital.  Because of the scheduled induction, my parents were staying the night at our house, so we did not have to worry about what to do with Annike in the middle of the night.  And, we were already packed.  Praise God for seeing to these details!!  We grabbed our bags and got in the car.

The drive to the hospital would normally take us 20-25 minutes, but somehow Christian made it in about 13.  It was probably because my contractions were already 3 minutes apart, and I had begun to vomit (we are talking about intense pain!)  Christian decided that a speeding ticket might be worth the gamble.  I was checked into Labor and Delivery at 4:45am when they told me I was dilated to 4cm, which I found hard to believe considering the rapid intensity of my contractions.  Twenty minutes later, during one of the 30second breaks I was getting, I suggested they check me again.  Sure enough, I was completely dilated and the baby was on her way.  My doctor was unfortunately not able to make it in time, but another doctor happened to be on the floor.  After, under 10 minutes of pushing, little Sommer made her entrance into the world at 5:14am.  I was scheduled to be induced 2 hours later, which of course, never happened.

Don't be fooled into thinking that my labor was easy because it was fast.  No way!!  I have never experienced so much pain in my life.  It is the most intense thing physically or emotionally I will ever do in my life.  But I am humbled and amazed to see God's protection in it all, despite my own doubts and fears through the process.  He gives women amazing strength to do this this task of bringing children into the world.  I don't know why He chose to make it so painful, but He always shows up, even when we don't have the faith in Him that He desires.