thank you

We had one of the best Thanksgivings ever. Celebrating with the family I grew up with. Besides the great food was the great company, which seems to get better every year. Thanksgivings keep getting better, as life keeps getting fuller, and the things we have to be thankful for multiply.

Reflecting on the things I have to be thankful for this season, over and over I come back to being reminded about the amazing people in my life... my children, my husband, my parents, my family, my friends.

The past few months have been a transitional season for us as we added a fifth little body to our family. The regular daily routines got tough for a while, but we are getting back to normal (the new form of normal, of course) and I would like to dedicate this post to the people who helped make that happen. I am especially thankful for the people who gave freely of themselves to help meet my family's emotional and physical needs during these post-baby months. Some were good close friends, some family members, and some people I might have only considered acquaintances until recently. All of them were living examples of Christ to me.

Simple things have humbled me with gratitude... like someone from Annike's school who sent home a goody bag with some special treats for me after the baby was born. And people who offered to pick up my daughter at school so I didn't have to climb into the car. And others who offered to take my 2-year-old so I could rest, even if I never took them up on it. And all of the amazing women who made a trek out to our house to bless us with a home-cooked meal, and save us from ordering pizza again. Someone even brought us a meal from 2 and a half hours away... humbling.

I am thankful. I am oh so thankful...
...for the people in my life who are filled with the wisdom of God and share freely, deeply, about their own experiences.

... who send me notes to say they care.

... who call me up, who text me, who send me an email just to check in.

... who showed up to surprise me on my birthday.

... who took time off of work to help me when the baby arrived.

... who ask me specifics about my life and challenge me to be more.

... who love me even though they recognize, and are sometimes bombarded with, all of my faults.

... who urge me to let some things go.

... who selflessly encourage others.

... who tell me I look good even when I know I don't.

... who love my kids like their own kids.

... who enjoy holding my baby.

... who have passed on baby clothing and baby needs to me.

... who are Godly examples to my children.

... who know just what to say when I am discouraged.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough.to just say thank you.

The thing about this list is that it involves so many separately wonderful people. No single person could have spread so much love. It was simple, small acts done by individuals that added up to be a huge collective blessing. Thank you for filling my heart with so many reasons to be thankful. Thank you.

happy birthday to me

Yep. Now it is my birthday. We like to pack it in around here! I think I am 34, but I will have to do the math to be absolutely sure.

This year all I want for my birthday is a luxurious nap... and a long bath. Strange how our perspectives of birthdays change as we mature. Even a few years ago I would have been disappointed if we did not at least go out to dinner on my birthday. Or I would secretly desire some unique gift.

I can honestly say that not a single material thing matters at the moment. My family is healthy and my heart is full of love for them. I was greeted with two little girly voices eagerly excited to wish me a "Happy Birthday" this morning. My husband is taking care of me. And I just received a surprise birthday visit including cake and coffee from some very dear friends who love my children as much as they love me.

My grandma's special gift to me on my birthday, and each of us individually, is a personal card that is really an exhortation over our lives. I especially appreciate her wisdom and written blessing for my life this year, and want to share it:

Dear Ashley, 

In all this flurry of new babies, I don’t want to overlook the mother of some of them!  In spite of the frenzy and clamor in every house with young children, these are some of the happiest years of your life!  You’ll forget the constant demands on your time and privacy, energy and interests, and remember all the joy of sticky fingers, delight in new discoveries, hugs around the neck (somehow, teenagers don’t indulge in expressing love or gratitude) and the absolute trust little ones show .  Relax and enjoy!  And don’t think you have to accomplish as much in the house as you have done prior to arrival #3.  You and Christian make ideal parents, and are mature enough to get your priorities straight. 

Above all, keep the place of Jesus prominent in your home, so that your children grow up to honor His Word always, sing songs of praise to Him, participate in all the church activities, and make Him a prominent Person in their lives. 

With much tender love,Grandma Grace

I had such low expectations for being the one who is celebrated this year, and yet I think it may be one of my best birthdays ever - because I have so much to celebrate!

gratitude

Every morning I awaken with my baby, and the feeling that I have been run over by a truck.  At least, I think I might feel the same if I was ever run over by a truck.  Instead, I have been awoken too many times through the night by a baby who has not yet learned that Mommy is nicer when she gets more sleep.  It takes every ounce of energy I have to open my eyes and drag myself out of bed.  And I wonder, will I make it through the day feeling this exhausted?  But every day, God give me the strength I need.  Once I am up (and have had that first cup of coffee) I actually feel pretty good.
For this I am grateful.

I have a 3-year-old.  She is going through a demanding phase.  I imagine I am not the only mom who wants to shout, Are you kidding me, Child?!?  I have devoted my entire day to entertaining you, picking up after you, feeding you, cleaning you, singing to you, reading to you, and driving you around!  I have given up my entire previous life of independence to care for you!!  And YOU are complaining about way I cut up your hot dog?!!  But I don't.  Instead I feel a deep compassion and love for this selfish child who God has entrusted to my care.  I am given patience where I had none.  Gentle words replace ugly ones. It is a genuine mothering miracle.
For this I am grateful.

My time is not my own.  It takes most of the morning to get myself dressed, let alone tidy up the breakfast dishes.  Entropy catches up to me quickly.  The children are incessant.  I can never quite recount what I have done between the hours of 7am and 11am, but I believe the time has vanished into filling the minor needs of my girls - making animals talk, changing a diaper, pulling out toys, feeding someone.  The day proceeds like this.  There is a point in the afternoon, far too brief but existent none-the-same, when both girls are napping (or at least quiet in their rooms.)  I sink into the couch, open my Bible, check email, or simply stare into empty space.  A tiny sliver of peace in a world of chaos.  The moment refreshes me.
For this I am grateful.

I am describing small, daily miracles.  Except that they are not small.  They are stuff life is made out of.  God gives us incredible strength to do what He asks us to do, to be who He asks us to be, to love how He asks us to love.
For this I am grateful.

In the new year I am making a conscious effort to practice the discipline of gratitude.  It is not a question of what I have to be grateful for, but whether I choose to see it.

This post is a follow up from my last post.

gifts

Someone told me it was amazing what you could get done when your baby arrives late.  It's true.

In fact, I am even beginning to see this time as a special gift.  Most of my pregnancy has been insanely busy - with weddings and weekend trips and construction projects and entertaining guests, all on top of the added exhaustion and enervation that is part of being pregnant.

But this final month of my pregnancy we cleared the calendar.  This was not done out of some sort of discipline where we recognized a need to slow down for the sake of our family.  It was done because Baby was about to arrive.  It was done because during my first pregnancy I was very sick in the final month.  Sick enough that the doctor wanted to induce me early, and Annike was born at 5 pounds, 12 ounces.

This time around, we slowed down out of necessity.  Of course, Baby has not come early, and this final month has felt very long.  But in the meantime, we have been given many gifts.

Like today... we spent the afternoon at the county fair, eating ice cream and petting the animals.  Annike's birthday is rapidly approaching and is now quite likely to be overlooked in the hospital madness that is sure to come, so we have seized the opportunity to celebrate early.  Lucky girl, she just might get to celebrate all week long!

And, while we have waited for our little precious bundle to arrive, we have not been idle.  It turns out that there is no such thing as nursery bedding in the colors pink, red, and yellow.  As a self-taught seamstress, I decided to attempt this "minor" sewing project... which quickly turned into a major one.  Each week that went by found me to adding a matching item to the crib bumper, like a bed ruffle, some curtains, a matching pillow, and next up is going to be a diaper holder.  My style of sewing never includes a pattern, so if you visit please do me the favor of arriving with an uncritical eye!

Our spring construction project was reconfiguring this bathroom, and I have finally had a little time to hang the towels and decorate.

These are just a few of the little gifts that have been given in the waiting period.  But the true gifts have been more recently realized...
I finally have the sincere recognition that we should cherish our final season as a family of three.  There was a God-given opportunity to encourage and pray with a dear friend this week.  Christian had the opportunity to speak wisdom into the life of a loved one, uplifting a depressed soul.  We faced Divine appointments with the full attention they warranted.  Encounters that would have been completely missed in the necessarily self-absorbed season of caring for a newborn.

Let's face it, patience is one of those things that none of us are very good at.  But it seems that God often, possibly always, has a plan for us in the waiting period.  I never would have planned this time of waiting into my own life, but I thank the Lord that He did.  And I thank Him for the Divine gifts that were discovered.

the waiting game...

... not one of my strengths.  Especially when waiting means one more day of painful stretched out body waddling around while trying to entertain a toddler, and one more night of restless tossing, attempting to go back to sleep without getting up to go to the bathroom or eat a snack.

But in these final days (my due date is Sept. 10 - please, Lord, let it be days and not weeks!) of waiting for Baby to arrive, I have the distinct feeling that I am being prompted to set my mind on the long list of things I have to be thankful for.  Because that list is most certainly longer than the list of complaints that monopolize my attention.

Things like...
... the time I have to spend with just Annike in these final days.

... my helpful husband who allows me to take long naps and does all of the bedtime duty with Annike (no short process these days.)

... a healthy pregnancy!  No pre-eclampsia this time around!!

... the perfect sunshiney mid-70s weather we have been blessed with while most of the nation is suffering from flooding, hurricanes, or insufferable heat.

... a huge number of friends and family who care about us, pray for us, and are checking in on us, almost as excited as we are to meet this little one!

... a husband who eats pretty much anything I put on the table.  If I don't put something on, then he finds food to put on the table.

... the motivation we had to finish the final wing of our house before Baby arrives.

... the moments of silence I catch during the day.

... my health, and the health of my loved ones.  This is not said with any generic sense of just looking for something to be thankful for, but with sincere gratefulness.  What a gift our physical and emotional health is.

It is easy to use pregnancy as a license to complain because, after all, everyone understands why I feel low on energy, and physically exhausted.  I think we can all find a good excuse to be negative about our lives.  A difficult job, a disease, a child with a strong personality, trouble with finances, irritating relationships that we are stuck in... they are all great reasons to feel sorry for ourselves.  Everyone understands why we might want to complain about them.  

But being thankful is not only for certain seasons in our life.  It is an attitude we are called to practice.  An attitude I have found really difficult for the past 9 months.  So difficult, that I wonder where my real personality has disappeared to. 

And in these final days of pregnancy, I am reminded that I need to finish well.  Maybe I have allowed the many aches and pains along the way to control my thoughts, but it is not too late to finish well.  No matter what crazy stage in life we are tossed into, each one of us has been given the power to set our minds on things above.  The many gifts we have been freely given that not one of deserves. 

Please join me in laying aside the river of reasons to complain, and jumping into the ocean of reasons to be grateful.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

Colossians 3