39 weeks

39 weeks today!

39 weeks and my clothes must be shrinking in the wash. I am positive the shirt I am wearing today fit me last week without showing off my midriff or the stretchy top panel on my maternity jeans.

39 weeks and I am doing a lot of parenting from the couch... which unfortunately, doesn't work as well.

39 weeks and I am officially not cooking dinner anymore. Alright, if you know me well you know that I stopped a few months ago, but it seems like 39 weeks is an appropriate time to claim it. Officially making frozen meals and take-out for the next few weeks.

39 weeks and my belly button is still an inny, not an outy. Well, you can call it flat, at least. I suppose it is nothing to brag about.

39 weeks and I am still trying to kick a cough left over from a headcold that my kindergartener brought home from school last week. She seemed unphased by the virus, but it knocked me flat and I haven't quite been able to get up again.

39 weeks and my doctor told me I should buy cupcakes to bring into Annike's class for her birthday instead of make them. I cannot tell you how very difficult it was for me to grasp this idea, and I went back and forth on it at least 10 times. I really wanted to bake them and decorate them so cute, and making them myself seems like the economical thing to do. Would I be disappointing my daughter if I didn't bake them myself? The answer is definitely no. She and her classmates loved the cake pops I BOUGHT, and at a dollar each for a class of 11 students it really did not break the bank. I shouldn't sound so surprised that my doctor was right.

39 weeks and we are in the middle of mad crazy birthday week, with Annike's on the 19th, Sommer's on the 22nd, and Baby due to make an appearance any day. My biggest challenge is resting enough because there are soooo many other things I need (want?) to be doing.

39 weeks and I am slow. Oh so slow. Heaven forbid I walk out the door and forget something because it delays us by 8 more minutes as I amble back and forth from the car to the house and around the house looking for whatever it is. We are late. For everything.

39 weeks and I am more in love with these girls than ever before... and so excited to add another little someone to the family!

In these final days before Baby makes his or her grand entry into our lives I need to ask any and all for your prayers. I have done this with each of my other pregnancies and been SO blessed by the results seen and felt almost immediately in my life. I want to thank you now for anything you offer up in prayer for me. Here are a few specifics...

• Health - A healthy baby and a healthy Momma are the most important outcomes!  Please join me in praying for this.

• Rest - My sleep is  interupted I am often awake for two or more hours in the night... so frustrating because I am simultaneously exhausted. Pray that I can sleep well, and that during the day I will know when my body is telling me to get back on the couch.

• Timing - One of our biggest anxieties is making it to the hospital in time. My babies come fast and we would like prayer for the timing to be perfect, as only God can decide. I was also 2 weeks past my due date when I had Sommer (which was one of the most tedious and exhausting things I have ever done) and I would love to not repeat that.

• Decisions - We have some big decisions to make in the next week... like a name for our child. Yes, we have procrastinated making that decision. We are also faced with the option of induction because of my speedy labors. Pray for us to be wise!

Thank you. Thank you thank you. I am so grateful for your participation in this big event in our lives. And while I am spending some extra time on the couch this week, I would love to pray for you too... so let me know what you need whispered up to heaven and I will petition right along side of you!

*** post update on 9/21/13 - I had a restful night's sleep for the first time in a long while!  Due to the rain drizzling outside the window last night? Probably not. I am convinced it was due to one or two or more extra prayers lifted up.  Thank you! ***

kindness

I have plenty of experiences in my life where I am struck by disappointment in the rudeness and entitlement and self-promotion that seem to govern the attitudes of our culture.

However, late into my pregnancy, I have found renewed faith in humanity's ability to be kind. Throughout this pregancy I have instead experienced compassion and gentleness and patience, often from complete strangers. It gives me hope for the world my children will grow up in. It helps me believe that kindness is still a general value in America.

Crossing the street as a pregnant lady with two kids in tow seems to bring out the compassion in drivers who previously would have sped by. People offer their spot in the grocery store line to me, insisting that I go ahead. Friends have randomly dropped off dinner, or picked up my house, or watched my children. And with another fast labor likely looming ahead, I have a long list of both good friends and casual acquaintances who have offered to drop anything at any time of day to help me get to the hospital from our somewhat remote location. It is refreshing. It is encouraging.

A more specific example happened in the grocery store recently. The grocery store sees mothers with their children on all kinds of days - good ones, bad ones, stressful run in and run out days. It is the one store we can't avoid just because we are having a bad day. On this particular bad day Sommer started with the most horrid screechy screaming stereotypical of a spoiled 2-year-old having a tantrum - usually someone else's child's tantrum. In this case, unfortunately, it was not someone else's child. It was my extremely stubborn and hungry child who refused to snack on grocery store goods or sit in the cart. We were in the process of abandoning a full cart of food (something I have only had to do one other time in all my 5 years of motherhood) when one of the grocery clerks took compassion on us and offered my kids some sweets and treats they did not deserve. These were goodies that they don't hand out to every child who comes through the store. It took all my self-control not to start crying on this woman's shoulder simply because someone showed me kindness instead of judgement. God bless the people who work at Trader Joe's. We managed to make it out of the store with our food.

This week, while out and about shopping for some birthday presents, Sommer was playing with a display of small stuffed animals. An elderly lady, who I guessed to be in her 80s, insisted on buying her one of fuzzy white kittens. I tried to refuse, partially because it was unnecessary, partially because the last thing we need is another stuffed animal in the house, and partially because I don't need Sommer thinking that she gets to takes every toy she likes home with her. But something about this lady's demeanor told me that allowing her to purchase the kitten would be a blessing to the both of us. It was something she wanted to do for us that came from a genuine place of kindness in her heart. Her sweetness and her interest in doing something kind for no apparent reason is what encouraged me. (Aside: this act of kindness is probably unrelated to my pregnancy. It is far more likely a result of Sommer's disarming ability to charm complete strangers. Either way, we were blessed.) 

I have also had plenty of awkward belly rubs from strangers, and been the brunt of many tactless comments about how my hands are going to be so full soon, and I have people everywhere who want to make conversation with me about my pregnancy and my kids and their own experiences, which is often poorly timed because I am trying to make it out of a store in a timely manner before my children spiral out of control.

But through it all, I have a great sense that these strangers do these things, tactless or not, because of a genuine interest in my life. Something about seeing us roaming around triggers a desire to reach out, and to be kind. I admit it could be pity, but I believe it is more like a glimmer of unselfishness that surfaces. That these people have kindness pent up in their heart and they are looking for a way to express it.

I share all of this because I have been deeply blessed by little things throughout this pregnancy. And I am asking myself, Why does it take a pregnant woman with kids to bring out the kindness in strangers?

Perhaps if we all just made it a priority to treat others as if they were in some sort of delicate state, offering help just because, exercising great patience for no apparent reason... perhaps many more people would experience the kindness of strangers.  If we took great interest in their lives then the world would indeed become a better place. Just a thought....

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, 

just as in Christ God forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32

joy (part 2)

Almost nothing brings me more joy than seeing my two little girls playing together...

... except maybe seeing this little wiggling munchkin inside of my belly.

Annike looked like a "gecko" when we saw her in utero. Sommer looked like a "teddy bear". And apparently Christian has nicknamed this one "Baby Skeletor."

We will be adding the new little sibling to the bunch in late September (or early October, depending on how late this one decides to come.)

Pray for us? Pray with us? We have some big changes coming to the family soon. Big change, but exciting change!

the waiting game...

... not one of my strengths.  Especially when waiting means one more day of painful stretched out body waddling around while trying to entertain a toddler, and one more night of restless tossing, attempting to go back to sleep without getting up to go to the bathroom or eat a snack.

But in these final days (my due date is Sept. 10 - please, Lord, let it be days and not weeks!) of waiting for Baby to arrive, I have the distinct feeling that I am being prompted to set my mind on the long list of things I have to be thankful for.  Because that list is most certainly longer than the list of complaints that monopolize my attention.

Things like...
... the time I have to spend with just Annike in these final days.

... my helpful husband who allows me to take long naps and does all of the bedtime duty with Annike (no short process these days.)

... a healthy pregnancy!  No pre-eclampsia this time around!!

... the perfect sunshiney mid-70s weather we have been blessed with while most of the nation is suffering from flooding, hurricanes, or insufferable heat.

... a huge number of friends and family who care about us, pray for us, and are checking in on us, almost as excited as we are to meet this little one!

... a husband who eats pretty much anything I put on the table.  If I don't put something on, then he finds food to put on the table.

... the motivation we had to finish the final wing of our house before Baby arrives.

... the moments of silence I catch during the day.

... my health, and the health of my loved ones.  This is not said with any generic sense of just looking for something to be thankful for, but with sincere gratefulness.  What a gift our physical and emotional health is.

It is easy to use pregnancy as a license to complain because, after all, everyone understands why I feel low on energy, and physically exhausted.  I think we can all find a good excuse to be negative about our lives.  A difficult job, a disease, a child with a strong personality, trouble with finances, irritating relationships that we are stuck in... they are all great reasons to feel sorry for ourselves.  Everyone understands why we might want to complain about them.  

But being thankful is not only for certain seasons in our life.  It is an attitude we are called to practice.  An attitude I have found really difficult for the past 9 months.  So difficult, that I wonder where my real personality has disappeared to. 

And in these final days of pregnancy, I am reminded that I need to finish well.  Maybe I have allowed the many aches and pains along the way to control my thoughts, but it is not too late to finish well.  No matter what crazy stage in life we are tossed into, each one of us has been given the power to set our minds on things above.  The many gifts we have been freely given that not one of deserves. 

Please join me in laying aside the river of reasons to complain, and jumping into the ocean of reasons to be grateful.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

Colossians 3

just for fun

It is not easy trying to capture a video of the moving alien within me.  I say alien, because a baby moving in the tummy is as foreign as a being from another planet.  Trying to identify the body parts can be a challenge.

This video is just for fun.  While filming my own stomach, I caught a moment of baby movement, but also managed to capture a glimpse into our daily life when Annike tries to get right in the center of attention.  It is typical for me to reluctantly relinquish my agenda and eventually embrace her participation.

By the way, I want to send a special shout out to those of you who are praying for us as we near the end of this pregnancy.  Since my last post, I feel SO much less anxiety and recognize it is because of the many prayers that are being sent up.  I feel extremely protected, especially from myself.  Thank you for your help in that!

baby update

As we anticipate the arrival of our little baby girl, life has slowed to a pace that seems much more managable.  I am currently 37 weeks along, and finally feel like it would be okay if she arrived because we have actually had some time to get ready for another phase of babyhood. 

Reflecting upon this pregnancy, I feel prompted to elicit the prayer of anyone who feels compelled to lift our little family up.  In order to understand some of my prayer requests, it might be helpful to have a brief synopsis of my prenatal history.  Please know that as it currently stands, I am overwhelmingly grateful to have had an overall healthy pregnancy despite some concerns along the way. 

During my last pregnancy I developed high blood pressure around 38 weeks which resulted in an extra long hospital stay for me due to postpartum preeclampsia.  This time around, the doctor has been watching me closely (translation:  there have only been two weeks this entire summer that I have not been in for an appointment of some sort.)  When I entered my third trimester, there was some concern that my amniotic fluid levels were too high, which can be a sign of some birth defects or the baby's inability to swallow and/or expel fluid.  After taking a closer look, it was determined that Baby looks great and I just happen to have a lot of fluid in there for her!  On a whim, I asked the doctor how my measurements compared to my pregnancy with Annike.  It turns out that I had the exact same screening measurements in both pregnancies, they just never caught the high fluid levels last time because I was not being watched as closely with ultrasounds.  Annike turned out just fine and I have every confidence that her baby sister will too.  At 37 weeks, I have finally reached term in my pregnancy, and it would be safe to deliver this child any day now!  Thank You, Lord!

This profile shot shows the newest little bundle during a detailed 31-week ultrasound.

It is hard to tell from the picture, but Christian and I thought she looked just like Annike when we were watching the ultrasound.  There was a view of the bottom of her nose and the resemblance was incredible!  I know she will have her own little characteristics, but it is really hard to imagine having a baby that looks any different than our first... and I would not complain one bit if she came out looking exactly the same!

There are sure to be a great many changes in our home soon.  We would be extremely grateful if any of you prayerful individuals wanted to add one more item to your list, and petition our Majestic Creator for a safe delivery, a smooth transition, and a healthy child.  More specific prayer requests are itemized below:

Prayer Requests:
- A healthy finish to the pregnancy.  With only 3 more weeks to go it would be an amazing blessing if I did not develop high blood pressure or preeclampsia in this final stretch.  The preeclampsia I developed with my last pregnancy resulted in a hospital stay that was mentally one of the most difficult obstacles I have ever overcome.  I would like to not repeat it.

- Safe labor that is quick, but allows enough time to get me to the hospital.  My last labor experience was fast (two and a half hours long) and while that was a blessing in many ways, it also leaves me with nightmares about making it to the hospital this time around.  This is currently the source of my greatest anxiety.

- Just the right name for our baby girl.  Why does naming a child feel like such a weighty responsibility?  I feel confident that our little nameless one will exit the hospital named, and loved, but it seems worthy of dedicating thought and prayer to the subject.

- A smooth transition into parenting 2 children.  Life will be changing.  Though I know God has created me fully capable of raising a second child, I feel anxious about the unknowns in my future.  Namely, the demands on my time, the amount of help that I need, and how I will respond to the upset in the balance of my life.

- That Annike will feel loved and welcomed in the family despite the changes to her little world.  In my heart I believe that bringing a sibling into the picture is one of the best things for her character development that we can provide.  But I also know that there will be some tantrums and some feelings of rejection that accompany the new addition.  I pray for the wisdom to handle it all in the most appropriate way.

- The ability to raise two daughters in a Godly manner.  It seems like a huge responsibility to parent a girl in such a way that she will grow to be an adult who makes wise decisions, has godly character, and chooses to live her life in purity.  It feels like a huge responsibility because it IS!  We do not take that lightly.
Thank you for joining us in prayer for our family.  This next season is likely to be trying emotionally, a stretch in our relationship, exhausting, and at the same time one of the most wonderful seasons we have ever walked through as a family.  By praying for us, you too get to be a part of the amazing, life-changing, things God is going to do in our lives.