sunshine

This morning the sun was streaming into my bedroom window for the first time in months! We have had one of the foggiest, coldest summers in decades, and the appearance of sunshine did more than wake me up from a night of sleep - my attitude needed a wake up call too.

Lately I have struggled with a feeling of resentment for my season in life - bitterness that creeps up and clouds my ability to see. This past week, I wrestled with my role as a stay-at-home mom. I saw a two-year-old anchor attached to my ankle, instead of my littlest best friend. I am teary even typing that out. How do we allow our mind to stray so far from the truth?

I am sorry to say that I don't always recognize the good things in my life. A friend mentioned that she saw pictures of a trip we took to the lake where we waterskiied, slept under the stars, dined in good company, and sipped wine at sunset on the dock. She was excited for me, and her enthusiasm was a jolting reminder of reasons to enjoy my life. (Thank you, my friend!) My mind plays tricks on me, telling me about a lack of adventure, independence, and thrill. There is some sort of misconception that says adventures are out there waiting for me in a life that I will never have, a career path I will never go down, or a country I will never visit. The truth? Excitement in my day is here for the creating. Ambition is not wasted on a stay-at-home mom. Adventure lies within reach of our doorstep, providing I can don the right attitude.

Annike has a favorite song from the classic kid's album "Bullfrogs and Butterflies" (an album which comes highly recommended by me!) It shocks me to hear her, a child who does not speak in full sentences yet, singing:

Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sonshine
Sunshine, sunshine, I've got a different kind of Sun!

Verse:
It's been a beautiful day
Blessed rain of God has fallen
Happy go lucky and come what may
Cause I've got a different kind of Sun.

Something about that song speaks loudly to my pouty heart, saying that we choose to seize the day. Despite the rain, or the fog that lasted all summer long, I have Sonshine in my life.







He is like a well-watered plant in the sunshine, spreading its shoots over the garden; Job 8:16

tu-tu much??

Daily, this is the outfit of choice. Is there such a thing as too much tu-tu? too much pink? or too many accessories? That would be like saying there is such a thing as too much girliness, and we all know that is not true!




Limitations are not something we understand well at the age of "almost two". Come to think of it, we don't understand them all that well at the age of "adult". Moving through the day with my daughter, I am reminded that she is incapable of comprehending the reasons behind most of the restrictions I put upon her. How do you explain that it is just too cold to wear a bathing suit to the grocery store? Or that it will make her sick to eat too many jelly beans on an empty stomach? Or that her favorite pink cowboy boots are too dirty to wear in the house? At some point, I realize it is not my job to explain it to her, but instead to make good choices for her, trusting that one future day, possibly years from now, she will understand and be thankful.

This is God's role in our lives too, you know. He makes good choices for us. He sets up limitations to protect us. Rarely do we get a clear explanation from Him that we understand unquestionably. That is where the word trust comes in. At times my choices are limited to one of two ways: I can choose whether or not to trust Him. It is the same as when my daughter gets the choice to keep throwing that tantrum when I want to put a jacket on over her tu-tu, or move on with her life.

God loves us unconditionally, and though it sometimes seems that He is removing a "good thing" from my life, trusting Him always makes way for something better.

I do let Annike win some of the battles we have. She gets to exercise her independence in small ways, making her own choices, even if they are not good ones. I have discovered one advantage for myself over the battle of the tu-tu: there has been a lot less laundry to do this summer!

down south

I couldn't resist posting a few pictures of our weekend in Santa Barbara with Christian's parents.

Annike found a new best friend... and pillow.

"SB" is the dog's name, but Annike likes to call her "SBC". I think the alphabet has confused her.

We also met some dear friends on the beach, and Annike found a playmate that looks a little like her mirror image.

They aren't sisters, but future college roommates!! Hopefully they will be wearing more clothes by then.


Here I am with my college roommates, and lifelong friends. I hope that Annike will have lasting relationships one day, with women that will uplift her as these women have done in my life.

fruit

There is quite a bit of fruit in our orchard this summer. It seems that finally all of that hard work we have been doing over the past year is coming to fruition. I don't have to be the gardener in the family to recognize that fruit trees need care all year round in order to produce a good crop. We water, fertilize, prune, and mow that orchard, and then we wait, anxiously watching the green nubs on those trees turn colorful. Life is like that sometimes... you have to work a while before you see fruit.


One thing that strikes me about our orchard, is that to an untrained eye, all of the trees look remarkably similar for most of the year. It isn't until the fruit on each tree begins to appear that I can distinguish the trees. Did you know that all plants with a flower on them, also have a fruit?? We can't eat every type of fruit, but most plants produce something that is classified as such.


Our church is doing a series on the fruit of the Spirit this summer. I will admit that we have been gone quite a bit, missing most of the sermons. However, the things that Jesus says about fruit in the Bible have none-the-less been on my mind.


"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23


It seems that fruit is a metaphor for the way we represent Christ. Just as the fruit on a tree tells us what type of tree is growing in the orchard, the fruit in our lives tells others about who we are. What has struck me anew is that all people produce some type of fruit, but not all of that fruit is good. No matter how alternative we dress, or how allergic to stereotypes we are, we represent something in our lives.


What is it that I represent? (rhetorical question... no need to respond!)


"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit." Matthew 12:33


What do we do with all of the fruit on our trees, or the fruit in our lives? Give it away, of course!! That's what fruit is for.

P.S. The pictures taken here are all from our property, and they are displayed in order of appearance throughout the season. Still to come: pears, nectarines, persimmons, and grapes!

bigger

Christian's cousins from Norway came to California for a visit. They spent some time on the beach, saw the sites, and doted on Annike.



Being from a small country means that they don't have the luxury of being as ethnocentric as we do when we are from the U.S. Even the 13-year-old speaks conversational English because, as they say, no one else is going to learn Norwegian. I always appreciate the chance to glimpse my own life through the eyes of another culture.

One of the observations made over the course of their visit stuck with me. It seemed to them that everything is bigger in America. Our cars are bigger (perhaps we have farther to go?), our portion-sizes at restaurants are bigger (they so courteously did not comment on the fact that this makes our people bigger too, but it is a well-known fact, so I will say it myself), our trees are bigger (we DID take them to see the redwoods), and even our squirrels are bigger (I can't quite figure this one out.) We camped in Yosemite, so of course our "tent" (R.V.) is bigger, our stores are bigger, our milk comes in bigger containers, and even our medium-sized drinks come large. I think you get the picture.


It got me thinking about the values we practice without recognizing. I would never tell someone I believe that bigger is better, yet, I subconsciously live that value. In my mind, it makes sense to me to buy the giant shampoo bottle at Target because I get the most shampoo for my money - but after a while I begin to need a bigger shower to hold that giant shampoo, and a bigger bathroom cabinet to house my collection of super-sized lotions and soaps, and a bigger house for that bigger bathroom. It all begins and ends somewhere.

At the root of this practice of big-ness, is the inability to distinguish the difference between "want" and "need". We sure throw the word "need" around lightly. We need coffee, our cars need to be washed, we need vacations from our vacations... but somehow it all turns into a habit of consumption at large, literally. I expect it will be an on-going life struggle for me. However, I need to welcome the chance to have my views of "normal" challenged.

hidden

Don't you sometimes wish you could hide from the world this easily?

Cover your eyes, and the world disappears. She does this when I am trying to get her dressed in the morning, and she wants to stay naked. She does this when I am trying to feed her something she doesn't want to eat. She does this simply to play her favorite game of Peek-a-Boo. If I can't see you, then you can't find me.

It is easy to laugh at a child when we see this. But we do the same thing in our Spiritual lives, don't we? Hiding from God, that is. He suggests something new in our lives and we cover our eyes. I don't want a job change... I don't see the need to develop a new friendship with that person... I don't want to move... I don't want to pour extra energy into that ministry. Whatever it is, we all live in some type of Spiritual denial. If we refuse to see the good that can come of these changes, we ultimately avoid the growth that follows.

The great thing about a child hiding behind her hands is that it never lasts very long. Developmentally, at the age of one, children are learning about the idea of object permanence... the concept that when an object disappears from sight, it still exists. I am always waiting for her on the other side. She still has to get dressed at some point in the morning, even if she tries to hide for a while. God is patient with me too. He is still on the other side of those decisions I avoid. Maybe my Spiritual object permanence still needs some development.


Instead of hiding, help me to shout "Here I am, Lord!"


"No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began... However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him'" 1 Cor 2:7,9


"So do not be afraid... There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known" Matt 10:26

hawaiian haiku

There is no relaxation like vacation in Hawaii.
We stayed in a resort on the island of Kauai.


Everyday we snorkeled or went swimming in the pool,
visited a beach, and read a book or two.




Annike returned with a suitcase of clean clothes;
Her tutu suit was all she'd wear, and shoes to shield her toes.




Of course there was the option to wear no clothes at all,
But sand gets into many cracks... the big ones and the small.




The water slide was all the rage - look close, she's having fun!
It'd be scary for you too at first, if you were only one.




Best of all, we loved the time we spent with family,
Joined by Ashley's kin, missing only sister Jilly.




Most importantly, we thank the Lord as we end this little rhyme
For resources to take this trip, and a restful time.