As I sit here at the computer, composing my thoughts, I am absolutely floored at the manner in which God chooses to answer prayers. This verse, in Matthew 6:8, "for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" has taken on completely new meaning for me. I used to wonder if I should interpret it to mean that I do not really need to pray, because after all, God knows what I need. But in today's case of answered prayer, a new dimension to the verse is realized. Only God knows the unpredictability of the future and is able to provide for me in the areas which I have not yet discovered need prayer. He knows what I need before I am aware of the need to ask Him.
This week has been a hectic, somewhat stressful, unpredictable week. I can't explain how it feels to be picking up so many pieces for other people, and then at the end of it all, see that everything worked out just fine because God pitched in to pick up the last 4 missing pieces that were humanly impossible for me to notice. In the moments when I felt helpless, I witnessed unexpected person after unexpected person step up to fill a need in a manner that far surpassed adequate. I had to stand back in awe because nothing I could have knowingly prepared would have been better than what God pulled together last minute... at least, it seemed last minute to me.
Today was the biggest surprise of all as an unresolved issue with an acquaintance came to a turning point. If I could go into detail without compromising someone else's right to privacy, I would. Suffice it to say that my husband and I have been praying, searching, agonizing over an issue with this person for well over a year, and I frankly felt no hope for any resolution. It is embarrassing to say that despite our prayers, I expected a rather mundane, lifeless outcome. Instead, I am awed at the creativity of a God who literally makes ALL THINGS POSSIBLE. Sure, God can move a mountain... if He wants to. But how often do we see Mount Shasta get up and walk across California?? I saw a mountain move in our relationship with someone today, and a load of bricks lifted from my husband's shoulders at the same time. To me, it was more impressive than seeing Mount Shasta walk to Washington state.
In the end, I am left humbled and aware of how little faith in God I actually have. It feels like I have a lot of faith sometimes, but upon standing back to contemplate the events of my week I feel small, uncreative, and stuck in a box. Most of all, I feel disappointed in myself that I did not expect BIGGER outcomes from God. How is it that we can proclaim belief in the Creator of the universe, but put Him in a box that would fit in my living room. How much greater would the outcomes of these answered prayers be if I had faith as big as a mustard seed?