the waiting game...

... not one of my strengths.  Especially when waiting means one more day of painful stretched out body waddling around while trying to entertain a toddler, and one more night of restless tossing, attempting to go back to sleep without getting up to go to the bathroom or eat a snack.

But in these final days (my due date is Sept. 10 - please, Lord, let it be days and not weeks!) of waiting for Baby to arrive, I have the distinct feeling that I am being prompted to set my mind on the long list of things I have to be thankful for.  Because that list is most certainly longer than the list of complaints that monopolize my attention.

Things like...
... the time I have to spend with just Annike in these final days.

... my helpful husband who allows me to take long naps and does all of the bedtime duty with Annike (no short process these days.)

... a healthy pregnancy!  No pre-eclampsia this time around!!

... the perfect sunshiney mid-70s weather we have been blessed with while most of the nation is suffering from flooding, hurricanes, or insufferable heat.

... a huge number of friends and family who care about us, pray for us, and are checking in on us, almost as excited as we are to meet this little one!

... a husband who eats pretty much anything I put on the table.  If I don't put something on, then he finds food to put on the table.

... the motivation we had to finish the final wing of our house before Baby arrives.

... the moments of silence I catch during the day.

... my health, and the health of my loved ones.  This is not said with any generic sense of just looking for something to be thankful for, but with sincere gratefulness.  What a gift our physical and emotional health is.

It is easy to use pregnancy as a license to complain because, after all, everyone understands why I feel low on energy, and physically exhausted.  I think we can all find a good excuse to be negative about our lives.  A difficult job, a disease, a child with a strong personality, trouble with finances, irritating relationships that we are stuck in... they are all great reasons to feel sorry for ourselves.  Everyone understands why we might want to complain about them.  

But being thankful is not only for certain seasons in our life.  It is an attitude we are called to practice.  An attitude I have found really difficult for the past 9 months.  So difficult, that I wonder where my real personality has disappeared to. 

And in these final days of pregnancy, I am reminded that I need to finish well.  Maybe I have allowed the many aches and pains along the way to control my thoughts, but it is not too late to finish well.  No matter what crazy stage in life we are tossed into, each one of us has been given the power to set our minds on things above.  The many gifts we have been freely given that not one of deserves. 

Please join me in laying aside the river of reasons to complain, and jumping into the ocean of reasons to be grateful.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

Colossians 3

just for fun

It is not easy trying to capture a video of the moving alien within me.  I say alien, because a baby moving in the tummy is as foreign as a being from another planet.  Trying to identify the body parts can be a challenge.

This video is just for fun.  While filming my own stomach, I caught a moment of baby movement, but also managed to capture a glimpse into our daily life when Annike tries to get right in the center of attention.  It is typical for me to reluctantly relinquish my agenda and eventually embrace her participation.

By the way, I want to send a special shout out to those of you who are praying for us as we near the end of this pregnancy.  Since my last post, I feel SO much less anxiety and recognize it is because of the many prayers that are being sent up.  I feel extremely protected, especially from myself.  Thank you for your help in that!

baby update

As we anticipate the arrival of our little baby girl, life has slowed to a pace that seems much more managable.  I am currently 37 weeks along, and finally feel like it would be okay if she arrived because we have actually had some time to get ready for another phase of babyhood. 

Reflecting upon this pregnancy, I feel prompted to elicit the prayer of anyone who feels compelled to lift our little family up.  In order to understand some of my prayer requests, it might be helpful to have a brief synopsis of my prenatal history.  Please know that as it currently stands, I am overwhelmingly grateful to have had an overall healthy pregnancy despite some concerns along the way. 

During my last pregnancy I developed high blood pressure around 38 weeks which resulted in an extra long hospital stay for me due to postpartum preeclampsia.  This time around, the doctor has been watching me closely (translation:  there have only been two weeks this entire summer that I have not been in for an appointment of some sort.)  When I entered my third trimester, there was some concern that my amniotic fluid levels were too high, which can be a sign of some birth defects or the baby's inability to swallow and/or expel fluid.  After taking a closer look, it was determined that Baby looks great and I just happen to have a lot of fluid in there for her!  On a whim, I asked the doctor how my measurements compared to my pregnancy with Annike.  It turns out that I had the exact same screening measurements in both pregnancies, they just never caught the high fluid levels last time because I was not being watched as closely with ultrasounds.  Annike turned out just fine and I have every confidence that her baby sister will too.  At 37 weeks, I have finally reached term in my pregnancy, and it would be safe to deliver this child any day now!  Thank You, Lord!

This profile shot shows the newest little bundle during a detailed 31-week ultrasound.

It is hard to tell from the picture, but Christian and I thought she looked just like Annike when we were watching the ultrasound.  There was a view of the bottom of her nose and the resemblance was incredible!  I know she will have her own little characteristics, but it is really hard to imagine having a baby that looks any different than our first... and I would not complain one bit if she came out looking exactly the same!

There are sure to be a great many changes in our home soon.  We would be extremely grateful if any of you prayerful individuals wanted to add one more item to your list, and petition our Majestic Creator for a safe delivery, a smooth transition, and a healthy child.  More specific prayer requests are itemized below:

Prayer Requests:
- A healthy finish to the pregnancy.  With only 3 more weeks to go it would be an amazing blessing if I did not develop high blood pressure or preeclampsia in this final stretch.  The preeclampsia I developed with my last pregnancy resulted in a hospital stay that was mentally one of the most difficult obstacles I have ever overcome.  I would like to not repeat it.

- Safe labor that is quick, but allows enough time to get me to the hospital.  My last labor experience was fast (two and a half hours long) and while that was a blessing in many ways, it also leaves me with nightmares about making it to the hospital this time around.  This is currently the source of my greatest anxiety.

- Just the right name for our baby girl.  Why does naming a child feel like such a weighty responsibility?  I feel confident that our little nameless one will exit the hospital named, and loved, but it seems worthy of dedicating thought and prayer to the subject.

- A smooth transition into parenting 2 children.  Life will be changing.  Though I know God has created me fully capable of raising a second child, I feel anxious about the unknowns in my future.  Namely, the demands on my time, the amount of help that I need, and how I will respond to the upset in the balance of my life.

- That Annike will feel loved and welcomed in the family despite the changes to her little world.  In my heart I believe that bringing a sibling into the picture is one of the best things for her character development that we can provide.  But I also know that there will be some tantrums and some feelings of rejection that accompany the new addition.  I pray for the wisdom to handle it all in the most appropriate way.

- The ability to raise two daughters in a Godly manner.  It seems like a huge responsibility to parent a girl in such a way that she will grow to be an adult who makes wise decisions, has godly character, and chooses to live her life in purity.  It feels like a huge responsibility because it IS!  We do not take that lightly.
Thank you for joining us in prayer for our family.  This next season is likely to be trying emotionally, a stretch in our relationship, exhausting, and at the same time one of the most wonderful seasons we have ever walked through as a family.  By praying for us, you too get to be a part of the amazing, life-changing, things God is going to do in our lives.

fishers

Camping is not something that should be done at 8 months pregnant.  I remember saying that the last time I was 8 months prego and went camping for a week.  This time around I had no excuse to complain, because I knew exactly what it was going to be like - and chose to go anyway! 

We did have some help as we went with my parents and their R.V. - which makes a big difference.  I still can't exactly describe the vacation as "relaxing", but we had some quality family time and made lasting memories together...

... like taking Annike fishing for the first time.

Courtright Lake near Shaver Lake/Dinky Creek area



She might have lasted a little longer if she had actually caught something.  Christian made up for Annike's lack-of-stamina with his grave determination to catch enough for us to eat dinner every night.  This desire did not exactly pan out.  Despite hours and hours and hours of genuine effort, there were only two trout left in all of Dinky Creek that allowed themselves to be snared by Christian's hook.

Of course, this greatly increased the joy of finally getting a good one!

Seeing the disappointment on Christian's face every afternoon that he returned to camp empty-handed, makes me think of the Biblical story of Jesus calling his first fishermen disciples.  Simon Peter must have felt just as doubtful and discouraged when Jesus told him to cast his net into the water one more time (Luke 5).  You can almost hear the frustration in his voice when he replies "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

In other words:  I respect you, so I will try it.  But I really can't imagine catching any fish right now... Just short of rolling his eyes. 

I imagine the frustration to have been tangible in Simon's countenance, coloring his ability to listen to what Jesus had been teaching about only moments before.  In his case, his ability to eat and afford a modest living was truly dependent upon his catch.  Oh so much more than a hobby. 

The bad luck of the previous night fishing, perhaps even the previous month, only increases his amazement at what happens next.  The number of fish was so vast that the nets broke, the boats began sinking, AND they had to call over their friends to come and help them.  How often did they catch so many fish that they shared them with other fishermen? 

Simon's reaction is beautiful.  He is immediately humbled by the miracle, and confronted by his own lack of faith.  "...he fell at Jesus' knees and said, 'Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!'"  All of this to show the disciples that the nets will be breaking and the boats will be sinking when God sent them out as fishers of men. 

It makes sense to me that it might be hard to believe that people would want to listen to the truth about our Savior.  It makes sense that Jesus had to prove to the disciples that they could trust Him in their physical world so that they would also put their trust in Him regarding Spiritual matters, and intangible things.  Our God is not limited by the physical circumstances that limit us, so why should He be limited by non-physical matters?  Yet, my faith is often lacking most in those areas... like trusting Him to guide me as I pray... acting with integrity when no one is looking... believing people can change... believing that I can change.

The story of Jesus calling his disciples isn't really about the miracle of too many fish, but about the faith response of these humble fishermen. 

"They pulled their boats up on shore, left everything, and followed Him."

(Luke 5:11)

Oh that my response would be the same.

wedding

Did July go by as quickly for anyone else as it did for me?  We've been busy... mostly with wedding and family and the last minute fun that goes hand-in-hand with summer. 

The highlight of July was my sister's wedding, of course.  I believe it was everything she had hoped for.  In brief summary, here is...

THE REHEARSAL DINNER:
The capacity of our barn was tested... and passed!  There were almost 100 people present at the rehearsal dinner hoedown, and plenty of room to spare.  Of course there was great food and squaredancing for all ages!

Everyone dressed in appropriate attire.  Jillian sewed her own bridal hoedown dress.  Yee Haw!

THE WEDDING:

Jillian was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen... yes, I am pleased to say she topped me!

Wade was the dashing groom.  We couldn't be more excited to welcome him into our family!

I was the {very} pregnant Matron of Honor.  Jillian picked this dress over another one because she thought it would be cuter on me at 8 months pregnant.  I believe her, but I am glad I never got to see the other dress.

Annike was the exhausted flower girl.  She was a champ during the rehearsal, and loved wearing her "purple princess dress"... but when it came time to actually walk the wedding aisle, she just couldn't pull it together.

Christian was caretaker to the flower girl, and reluctant picture-taker.

(but don't let him fool you, he still had fun!)


THE RECEPTION:
En route to the reception, Annike decided she was ready for the party to be over...

but for the rest of us, the party was just beginning!  Marriott in Monterey was a fantastic setting...

We lift up many prayers for you two as you begin your new life together.  As I said in my toast, I know that the future holds many unknowns for you.  But I am also convinced that God has fully equipped you to be great travel buddies as you embark on this next great adventure... the one called marriage.  We love you. 

Congratulations!

(Two little lovebirds atop the cake)

mane

Everyone should have a daughter.

When I woke up this morning, my long hair was a mess, my eyes were puffy, and my loving husband says
"Oooh!  Mama has wild hair.  Look at that mane!  Does she look like a lion, Annike?"

Annike looked at me with a gentle grin on her face. 
"No," she whispered with awe. "She looks like a Mama Mermaid!"

I think I will keep her around for a while. 

the fourth at the farm

I haven't been doing that great in the blogging department as of late.  So after this post I am officially signing off until August, partially to give myself a break in the guilt department.  After all, in the next month we have a wedding to get through (my sister's), a visit from extended family to host, a third trimester to tackle, and we are trying to fit a vacation in somewhere in the middle.  It exhausts me just thinking about all of that fun.

We also have this party to recover from, though it was well worth the hangover of throbbing ankles and knees I am experiencing today.  I temporarily forgot that I am 30 weeks pregnant and did not sit down for the majority of the day.  Today I feel like I might be turning 75 next week.  Alas, our bodies are only temporary.

Barn parties were part of the original vision when we bought this beat up property.  No better time than July 4th to celebrate family farm fun.  The weather was perfect, the food was delicious, and the friendship topped it all.  If you weren't invited, it was an oversight.  We would have welcomed you with open arms!  That is, as long as you brought something yummy to eat. 

The activities included horseshoes, face-painting,

Thank you, Gretchen, for using your artistic genius to bless Annike with a penguin on her cheek!!  Sofia has an American heart-shaped flag.

This little gal got a ladybug on her hand.

... and tractor rides... which were definitely Christian's, I mean, the children's favorite event!

He even got a little mowing done in the process.

Those are definitely gleeful faces.  Christian kept mentioning that he could remember their giggles and squeals throughout the night.

Next year we will add in the 3-legged race. 

But the truth is that none of these "activities" were necessary because being together with friends, that are more like family, is the best way to celebrate freedom.  We have the freedom in this country to fellowship with anyone we choose.  The freedom to walk where we want, when we want, how we want.  Most of all, we have the freedom to worship Who we want.  And that is something worth celebrating.

Until August... have a Joyful July!
Ashley